Not the dreaded query letter, but the dreaded Girl Scout Patch

     In one corner is me: a mom, a writer, a friend,

a teacher of Children’s Church. 

     In the other corner, is the “innocent” girl scout

patch.

Innocent girl scout patch: I don’t know why you

can’t adhere me to your daughter’s vest. It’s not

that hard. All the other moms do it.

Laura: Oh, trust me. I have tried. I am experienced

enough in patches to know by the feel of one whether

or not it will iron on to the vest like it’s supposed to.

Innocent girl scout patch: Shame on you then,

for not taking the time to sew all of them on, like a lot

of the other moms do.

     Laura rushes to the store and buys something

called Fabric Fusion. The word fusion conjured

 up in her mind images of patches fusing onto

the vest with no problems.  She tries but can’t

understand the directions. She makes a phone call.

Friend with a math brain: Hello

Laura: I’m trying my hardest to be a good mom. But

this Fabric Fusion isn’t working.

Friend with a math brain: Do you have to iron

one piece onto the vest, and another piece to the patch?

Laura: Both pieces are fuzzy. Fuzzy doesn’t stick to fuzzy.

Friend with a math brain: Is there another role in the

package?

Laura: (after checking package) Oh, yeah. The other strip

is different material.  (thanks God for smart friends) Bye.

        Now understanding how Fabric Fusion works,

Laura irons on the pieces, but alas, velcro is just velcro.

There is no fusion. Just a patch hanging

precariously to the vest by velcro.

     The girl scout patch comes out the winner. (Boo Hiss)

     (I do not have a math brain. That is one of the reasons

  I write. More on that topic another post.)

 

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The amazing thing you will never know (B.A. Part 4)

     While waiting for a customized blog, I decided

to be brave. I fooled around with the template

themes and found one I like better. (and while pushing

all the buttons, my blog didn’t implode)

     Impressive. I know.

    The reason you will never know is that if you go

back and read earlier entries it will still be the newer

template. (So I wanted to let you know about this

amazing thing I’d accomplished.)

     I thought I was pretty cool until I tried to change

the tagline. And couldn’t. My computer savvy brother

told me to press tagline. Sounds simple. But the

word Settings had a strange look about it. A look

that said ‘you should know something about

computers before you fool around with me’. So I

picked up on its warning and stayed away. (You know.

The whole blog imploding irrational fear thing.)

     But after a quick email back and forth(actually

it took a couple) , I clicked Setting, went to

general, and then found where I could

change the tagline. And then I really did something

cool. I changed my title to all caps. I felt so

empowered, smart, and technologically intelligent,

 like I could bake a cake, blindfolded,

while blogging .

     And now, if I could only figure out how to link.

(The link button has a look that says, ‘touch me and

your blog is dead.)

     Maybe tomorrow.

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Blogging Adventures Part 3

          After a busy day of church, Christmas shopping and then

watching my hubbie snowblow in the rain (If you

don’t quick snowblow after snow turns to rain,

you’ll spend hours chipping away at layers of

solid ice for the rest of the winter and spring),

I’m not adventurous enough today

to try something like a link.  It’s kind of a scary

thought even though my computer genius

brother showed me how – several times. So one

day I’m going to link to his blog and hopefully

I won’t have to email him to fix what I’ve messed up.

           I do want to pass on some wisdom when it comes

to starting a blog. One, nothing is ever really for

free. Don’t spend hours looking at all the different

free themes out there and then find one you love.

Because, really, there are only certain templates

that are truly free.

          So now, my computer genius brother is taking

time out of his schedule to customize a blog for me.

A simple but elegant blog that reflects me and my

writing.  Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with

simple templates because really it’s the writing

and content that matters. (But if that were really

true then book covers wouldn’t be such a big deal

breaker.)

          So that is my tiny bit of wisdom that I am casting

out into cyber space; so hopefully, I will save

someone the time of searching the internet, looking

at themes.

           Because we’d all much rather be writing.

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Blogging adventures Part 2

I have a slow learning curve, but once I get it, I’m

usually okay on my own. 

 So yesterday, I put my whole blog post 

where the title was supposed to be. I never saw

the gigantic space below and wondered, “Oh, maybe

the small space is for the title and the large one is

for the text.” Duh. (though I kinda liked the post

being in big blue letters)

Lesson One.

And looking at my dashboard thing (and feeling like

I’m in a new car from 2050, staring at all these

buttons and scared to push one because the

whole thing will implode), I have to remind

myself that even though I could never get the

hang of cross-stitching(not even when motivated

by the fact that my daughter received a butterfly

kit for Christmas one year), blogging is not the

same thing as cross stitching. One, there are no

needles or thread.

Someone, please, tell me that

learning to navigate my blog is not as complicated

as cross stitching. Otherwise, I might really have

to rethink blogging (because the butterfly never

got its wings).

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